Justin on February 9th, 2010

An open letter to blog writers everywhere, from a guy who sometimes reads them.  (Me.)

Let’s be honest: when it comes to writing, I’m neither Shakespeare nor Godin, and neither are you.  But the difference is, I’m not spending all my time trying to convince you that my blog is worth reading.

You, however, are.

And I know you are because you’re constantly linking to your tripe all over the Twitter and the Facebook and the Google — lord, how you love to SEO my Google — and if I’m going to keep finding all those posts you keep writing, you could at least be coherent about it.

Note: this isn’t even about writing well.  “Readability” is a tall order in this age of “just press and publish,” so let’s aim a notch or two lower, shall we?  Let’s simply set our sights on “competence,” and we can worry about the magic later.

5 Ways to Improve Your Blog (Please)

1. Realize that online audiences only ever skim. Life is short, and we all have a lot to say.  Stop taking up my time with pointless lead-ins which you think “add color and context” to your lists and bullets, but which only read like white noise across my retinas.

2. If you can’t say something original, don’t say anything at all. By adding nothing new to the conversation, all you’re doing is polluting my Google returns with your supercharged SEO bait and driving the cogent articles from people who do know what they’re talking about to a sad home further down the page.  Stop hurting America. (And if this means you actually need to start reading blogs in order to know what other people are saying, so be it.  There’s no shame in caring.)

3. If you’re going to include an image to “jazz up” your post, get creative. Most Flickr image searches will return multiple pages of results.  At least have the gumption to pick something from the second page.  By doing so, you’ll have separated yourself from 95% of your competition, who’ve been using the exact same images since the Internet was first hatched.

4. Preview your blog on the page AND read it in an aggregator. Understanding how different people will see your words helps you format your posts accordingly.  By doing so, you can avoid awkward sentence or paragraph breaks that disrupt the reader’s flow.  Beware of pesky image borders that isolate the last few words of a sentence from the paragraph they’re supposed to run alongside.  Your blog may be pathetic, but it doesn’t have to look like it.

(Plus, a bonus tip: in order to read your own blog in an aggregator, you’ll have to subscribe to it, which means you’ll have at least one subscriber listed in your Feedburner widget!)

5. Stop asking me to subscribe BEFORE I read your post. I’m inspired by your chutzpah, but trust me: nobody buys the cow before suckling the teat.  Afterwards maybe, but definitely not beforehand.  That’s just desperate.

And if all this seems beyond you, fear not.  I’m a harsh critic, and I’m rarely pleased — with my work or yours.  Truth be told, almost no one can write compellingly enough, consistently enough, and with ever-increasing relevance, day after day, week after week, and in a lyrically engaging manner that manages to hold my attention for more than five minutes.

But for god’s sake, you could at least try.

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Justin on February 8th, 2010

ParalyzingBlizzard2010As you may have heard, the Mid-Atlantic US (in which I currently live) got hammered by a massive snowstorm this weekend.  Weather reports had been sensationalizing the potentially apocalyptic effects of the storm for days, warning that we could see a record snowfall and complete paralysis of city functions.  And if you doubt that people still take the media seriously, you should have been in any east coast grocery store on Thursday night: everything was wiped out.

Saturday morning, Ann and I awoke to the full brunt of the destruction.

BaltimoreBlizzard2010dRufus needed his morning walk, and there was no way around it: we had to go outside.  Armed with a shotgun, a lantern and a blowtorch, we opened our front door with a mix of soul-rending trepidation and a sudden resurgence in our childhood beliefs in God — because when the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse arrive wearing ski masks, you can never be too careful.

Amazingly, all the buildings on our block were still standing.  The cars had not caved in beneath the mountains of precipitation.  There were no sirens, no wailing children trapped beneath the rubble, and no marauding gangs of anarchists raping and pillaging the survivors.

So we dug a little walkway midway down the block so Rufus would have a place to poop.

Then we went back inside, and we turned on the news, and IT WAS INSANE.  Somehow, the same morning news anchors who are on TV every week had managed to get to the station!  Neither of them looked like they’d had to cannibalize their loved ones in order to get out of the house. In fact, one of them was laughing at a picture someone had sent in of a dog in a snowsuit.

HOW WAS MASS COMMUNICATION STILL WORKING??? WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE PARALYZED!!!

Too confused to function, we went back to bed, mostly to conserve our strength in case we needed to light flares on the rooftop later and help guide the evacuation planes.

But by noon, we once again ventured outside (this time with only a pistol and a hatchet, in case we needed to run) and discovered that our neighbors were not only not dead or eating their own young, but they were shoveling out their stairways, sidewalks and cars.  They were even talking to each other, which never happens.

By this afternoon, a full 24 hours after we were supposed to have borne witness to the final sub-arctic battle between good and evil, Ann and I were digging our car out from its snow tomb and romping in the park with our dog.  Other neighbors were sharing shovels and helping one another chip away at their icy vehicles or sidewalks.  Our next-door neighbors, who never speak to us, even managed to find the time to blatantly ignore us while walking past us!

If they have time to be petty and vindictive over perceived slights, how much of can Armageddon could this possibly be?

And that’s when it hit me:

We got through it.

BaltimoreBlizzard2010aThe world was supposed to have ended (at least by modern meteorological standards), but it didn’t.  Somehow, despite all advertised odds, we were all still functional.  One guy was even going to work, which is as American as you can get during a crisis of biblical proportions.

And that got me thinking…

The country was supposed to have collapsed during eight years of Bush tyranny.  But we got through it.

The country could have collapsed during our current financial meltdown.  But we’re getting through it.

And Obama could still turn this nation into a socialist collective, unless the GOP outwits him and turns it into a fascist dictatorship first.  But we’ll probably get through that too.

In fact, there’s never been anything that’s happened in this country — and, in broader terms, on this planet — that the bulk of us haven’t gotten through.

Yes, we’ve had disasters and war and terror and plagues and homicides and genocides and secessions and depressions.  Yes, we’ve been inconvenienced and had to sacrifice.  Yes, we’ve abused and taken advantage of.  And yes, we’ve been trained to believe that things can only ever get worse.

And yet, regardless of what life throws at us, we’ve always gotten through it.

Which, finally, makes me wonder one last thing…

What If We Didn’t Spend Our Entire Lives Worrying About “What Might Happen?”

If we weren’t always petrified about rain, snow and murder, our local news would have to find something else to report.

If we weren’t entirely convinced that one of our political parties was going to drive our 200-years-young nation to ruin, our national news (and, perhaps, our politicians) would have to find something more useful to do.

And if we weren’t perpetually preoccupied with our immediate concerns about our own health, wealth, relationships and social standing, we might actually find the energy to move forward in the direction we’re so certain someone or something “out there” is preventing us from reaching.

BaltimoreBlizzard2010bIn the end, what prevents us from being amazed at our own resiliency is just how commonplace the act of survival really is.  The world isn’t perfect, and neither are we, but we always manage to find a way to scrape by — and sometimes, we even make the future better than the past we grew up in.

Just ask your parents, or your grandparents, or anyone who’s fled to where you’re living now from a homeland they simply couldn’t bear to live in anymore; they’ll tell you that tomorrow has at least a 50% chance of being better than today, and unlike we modern cynics, they’ll believe it.

And if tomorrow happens to be worse than today?  Trust me:

We’ll get through it.

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Justin on February 4th, 2010

Jonathan Fields recently posed a harsh question to his readers: Would you pay to read your own blog?  It was a reframing of a comment by Remarkablogger’s Michael Martine, and its goal, as Martine says, is “to give people a new angle from which to honestly think about the quality of what they write and the value it provides.”

I think that’s a powerful opportunity, and I’d like to take it a step further:

Does your blog matter?

After all, people really only pay for two things: what they need and what they want.  Is your blog (or your podcast, or your videoblog, or whatever type of media it is that you’re creating) valuable enough to be considered necessary?  Is it entertaining, illuminating or influential enough to be considered desirable?

If you said yes, congratulations.  Stop reading this and get back to producing valuable content, because that’s what the world needs more of.  (As I type this, 4000 people just used cutting-edge satellite technology to tweet about their cats.)

If you said no… why not?  Well, I bet I can guess…

5 Reasons Your Work Probably Sucks

1.  You’re doing it because you want to get paid. If those talentless hacks everyone else is paying attention to can make a living just by being themselves, why can’t you?  So, naturally, you create what you think people will want to pay for, or at least what you think enough people will be interested in to snare an audience that will impress advertisers.  Pardon me while I choke on your nobility.

2.  You’re doing it because you want to get famous. It’s the same “talentless hacks” complaint from above, minus the dollar signs.  You don’t even care if you get paid; you just want to be known.  After all, you have so much to offer.  Why hasn’t anyone else noticed your brilliance / talent / rapier-sharp wit?  [Cue "knowing sigh" here.]

3.  You’re doing it because you feel obligated. Everyone who’s anyone (and millions of nobodies) have a blog, so you should, too.  And you should post at least once a week, and daily if possible.  And you should promote your own work with the voracity of a starving panda in a bamboo factory.  Because if you don’t… well, let’s not even think about what could happen if you stopped.  Probably something horrific.

4.  You’re half-assing it. You really do want to succeed… you just don’t want to work very hard at it.  While others obsess over statistics, refine their marketing campaigns to maximize exposure and test-drive every possible tool, tweak and SEO voodoo spell in order to capture their coveted brass ring of online success, you’re pretty sure you can get by with that default Blogger template and those video clips you made with your microphone pointed toward the fan.

5.  You refuse to improve. Forget about the helpful hints, the friendly suggestions and the outright insults hurled by people who justifiably think your work could be better.  There’s no such thing as constructive criticism because it’s all just white noise from haters who are jealous of your underappreciated skills.  God bless your ego, because it’s the only sounding board you’ll ever need.

Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs!

Now that that’s over, let’s apply the band-aids and look in the mirror.

3 Ways Your Blog SHOULD Matter

1.  You love it. It’s not always perfect, it doesn’t always do what you want it to do, it keeps you up at night and it’s sometimes more trouble than it’s worth.  But like your kid, your lover or that mischievous hamster you just can’t stay mad at, it’s worth it in the end — and you get something from the experience of nurturing it that you can’t find elsewhere.

2.  Your audience likes it. I don’t mean “likes it” in the “Hey, great post! [Insert linkbait here]” sort of way.  I mean in the “leaves thoughtful comments and takes an active interest in what you have to say” kind of way.  They may or may not be willing to pay you for it, but they’d certainly miss it if it was gone.  So at least you have that.

3.  It can’t be replicated. It’s proof of your own voice, your own style, your own knowledge and your own personality.  Sure, it may not be for everyone, and it may not be overflowing with Pulitzer-worthy material on a daily basis, but it’s unmistakably you.  And if you weren’t producing it, no one else could.

Does that sound like your blog?  It probably does, because everyone thinks their blog is an untouched gem, a ruby in the darkness, a powderkeg of genius that’s ready to blow.  And almost everyone is wrong.

Look again.

Are there flaws in your plan?  Inconsistencies in your approach?  Hard truths you need to swallow and renovations you need to embark on, post haste?  If so, don’t worry; everyone else is in your boat too.  Do yourselves a favor: get out of that boat and into a smaller one, because that one’s going to sink.  Now paddle on, alone and with purpose, and skip to the next header.

Meanwhile, if you’re still convinced your blog is just one Chris Brogan tweet away from a Webby award, my hat is off to you, sir or madam, because even I’m not convinced of that about my own work, and I’m the one giving you advice.

In that case, here’s the last ingredient you need to put yourself over the top: relevance.

5 Ways to Ensure Your Blog Matters

1.  Provide Data, Not Opinions. This past Christmas, a friend of mine mentioned that she wasn’t sure about the whole blogging thing anymore.  To her, “it just seems like everybody’s giving everybody else advice, and I’m sitting there thinking, What qualifies you to give me advice?”

Talk is cheap, but actions count.  People want advice, but they want it to be based on more than just your own half-baked observations; they want it to be drawn from data, analysis and expertise.  Next time you formulate a theory on how the world works while you’re showering at the Y, take the time to conduct an experiment related to your presumptions.  Measure your results.  Explain what you did, how you did it and why, and then extrapolate: if ___, then what next?  It doesn’t take a scientist to provide the world with useful data, but it does take more than your own best guess.

2.  Explain Complex Subjects in a Way That Your Target Audience Understands. Personally, I love information.  In fact, most people I know enjoy processing new information and having their minds quietly blown.  What they tend to hate is the sexless way that information is conveyed.

Textbooks and seminars are often presented in a sterile, uninviting way that makes even the most compelling subjects seem bland, off-putting and inscrutable.  I might need a Master’s Degree to fully grok the breadth of a subject, but I shouldn’t need one to understand the basics.  And if you can make something obscure seem that much more accessible to an audience that’s prowling around its edges, there’s no telling where that interest (and their appreciation for your translation) may lead.

3.  Curate Media and Information That People Want to Explore. You have hobbies and passions, yes?  You have pet projects and secret obsessions that take up more of your time than you’d care to admit?  So does everyone else.  And a lot of that time is spent tracking down the same obscure information and rare documentation that you’re also pursuing, or which you may already have.  Why not share it?  Or work together with your fellow seekers to create a composite reference point for others?

Not only does sharing information help build a community, it also provides a point of entry for others who might voluntarily follow you down the rabbit hole.  Think of how often you check Wikipedia for one bit of information, only to link-jump through a dozen pages and emerge an hour later.  If you can provide that rich of an experience for a curious visitor, that visitor is likely to return — with friends.

4.  Say What No One Else Is Saying. Despite the fact that anyone can create media, most media still looks like it could have been created by anyone.  Most blogs read like most other blogs, most LinkedIn profiles are interchangeable, and YouTube is drowning in copycat versions of videos that sucked to begin with.

Instead of trying to do what everyone else is doing, only better, why not do what no one else is doing, and do it as well as you possibly can?  There wasn’t a ZeFrank before ZeFrank; now there are thousands.  There also wasn’t an Achewood or a Homestar Runner before Achewood and Homestar Runner, and no one’s quite replicated their quirks yet.  Be a trendsetter or an iconoclast, because if you’re neither, why bother?

5.  For God’s Sake, Ask. Are your readers actually learning anything from you?  Are they being entertained?  Do they care at all about what you’re giving them?  Would they rather see more of something?  Less?  Do they think you’d be great at something you’ve never considered, or do they think you’re pretty terrible at something you’ve blindly convinced yourself you’re wonderful at and keep driving down their throats with no regard for anyone’s greater well-being?

Ask.

You’re under no obligation to implement anyone’s suggestions, but if you don’t, you’ll never know how close you are to giving them exactly what they want — or to solving the problems that prohibit you from fully enjoying the fruits of your own labor.  Remember: the people who bother to respond are the ones who want you to succeed, and they may be on to something.

Hope that helps.

(Did it?)

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