Last week, I Twittered that a tar truck was idling on my street, leaking fumes into everyone’s home while the driver sat on his buddy’s stoop and chatted for at least 20 minutes.  Fellow Twitter user Ben Atlas (who’s been very anti-social media lately*) asked if it wouldn’t have been more productive for me to simply walk outside and talk to the driver, rather than Twittering about it, which would solve nothing.

In this particular case, no, because the driver was Mexican and I didn’t have time to learn Spanish.  But in general, Atlas is right.  In fact, I wonder if he (and everyone else who thumbs their nose at social media) isn’t anti-Twitter so much as anti-whining.

Instant sharing platforms like Twitter and Facebook seem to be turning us from a nation of doers into a nation of passive-aggressive whiners, whingers and complainers, not so much interesting in oversharing as we are in making sure that the world knows just how tough we have it.  For example, search Twitter for almost any brand name — especially tech-driven ones like Comcast or Verizon — and you’ll see legions of people complaining about that company’s service, products or employees.  And while commiserating with your fellow citizens who’ve been fucked over by the corporate system can momentarily soothe your jangled nerves, it’s equally true that complaining to someone other than the person or company who’s causing your distress will only be so beneficial.

In light of these hand-wringing habits, social media-based customer service methods like the Comcast Cares account on Twitter may seem less like web-savvy approaches to an age-old problem and more like a devaluation of the Twitter experience, empowering people to complain more often in the hopes that they’ll be (over)heard and rescued from their mediocre problems.  (On the upside, at least people who are new to Twitter won’t see a litany of “What I had for breakfast”-type tweets on the front page anymore; now those tidbits split time with missives about “How situation X is ruining my day.”

So, in honor of Ben Atlas’s proactive bolt of clarity, I’d like to make a suggestion: what if we all DIDN’T complain on Twitter for a week?  Think of all the things you could do with those extra twenty minutes!  (Like maybe actually solving your problem…)

* Bonus points to anyone who mentions that Ben Atlas using Twitter to complain about the existence of Twitter is meta-hypocritical.

Ever since Facebook bought FriendFeed, I’ve been getting daily notices from FriendFeed that complete strangers are following me, with dubious names like Casual Encounters and Scanna69.  If I’ve never met you (and you’re a robot), how can we be friends?  And doesn’t being stalked by strangers and spammers implicitly undermine the concept of a “Friend”Feed in the first place?

We can blame MySpace for the Orwellian devolution by which the term “friend” ceased to have any true meaning (at least online).  Twitter was savvy enough to rename its users’ contacts “followers,” which connotes a far less intimate (and often unreciprocated) relationship.  And Facebook’s use of “friend” is at least halfway defensible, since its original intent was to link people who actually did know each other in college.

But when a service includes the term “friend” in its name, shouldn’t it mean something more?  Shouldn’t the interactions that take place among alleged friends be more valuable and run deeper than passing exchanges with followers or fans?  Or have we finally reached the stage where we need to coin a new term for the people we actually know?

Yesterday, Chris Brogan included me on his newsletter’s list of three people he believes are “doing it right,” with “it” being “social media” and “right” being… well, that part’s debatable.  I agree that Mitch Joel and David Meerman Scott seem to know what they’re doing, but me?  Hardly.

In fact, I’m happy to point out 5 Mistakes I’ve Made Using Social Media, including…

1.  I Twitter Too Much

Since Twitter is my primary source of communication, I use it a lot — sometimes posting over 100 updates a day.  I pity anyone who follows me on Twitter while also following less than 50 other people, because every time they check their incoming tweets, mine must take up 90% of their page.  I’d try to cut down on my tweet frequency but my mind works too fast; I’m too verbose for my own good.

2.  I Twitter Too Often

Similar to issue #1, except that I not only post a large volume of tweets, but I also tend to post them close together.  This means that if I’ve just said something incredibly relevant, I might immediately follow it up with an inside joke about Aquaman.  And that means you have that much more trouble sifting through my verbosity to find the important stuff.  If I were smart, I’d tweet less AND more judiciously, only bothering people with posts designed to make me rich or famous.  But I’m not, so you get full exposure to my stream of consciousness, every day.

3.  I Speak My Mind

I know, it’s taboo to do so in this politically correct age, but I have no problem sharing my personal views on politics (I’m fiscally conservative and socially liberal, with exceptions) to theology (raised Catholic, now agnostic) or any other topic guaranteed to polarize an audience.  I suppose I’ve never been as concerned with developing a wide following as I am with being able to stand behind my own conduct.  And if that means I occasionally aggravate, insult or offend someone, so be it — I’m an individual, not a brand.

4.  I Don’t Use Facebook

Not that I don’t have an account; I just never use it.  If I want to speak with people whose insights and experiences are immediately relevant to me, I use Twitter.  If I want to speak with old friends or family members who aren’t tech-savvy (or tech-obsessed) enough to find value in Twitter, I use the phone.  And if I want to know what all those high school classmates I haven’t spoken to in 15 years are up to now… nope, I still don’t use Facebook.

Note: Just because *I* don’t derive value from Facebook doesn’t mean there isn’t value in it for you.  I’m aware that everyone engages with the web differently; I’ve just chosen to streamline my own experience.  Which brings us to…

5.  I Don’t Use RSS

RSS (better known as that bright orange button on most blogs and websites) makes subscribing to interesting web content incredibly easy.  In fact, it’s too easy — which is why I don’t do it.  Not that I’m purposely trying to be obtuse, but I really only have so much time in my day; if I subscribed to every blog I find interesting, I’d never have time to write my own.  (Or do actual paying work, for that matter.)  So I’m willing to get my news secondhand (on Twitter) rather than waking up to 300 new RSS items in my email every morning.

So, again, thanks to Chris Brogan and everyone else who thinks I know what I’m doing.  But the next time someone tries to tell you I’m a “social media expert,” kindly refer them to this page.  (And then remind them to subscribe to my RSS feed.)