Last night, I was frustrated. I couldn’t activate my new Droid Eris phone, but my old phone had already been deactivated during the transfer process. Thus, I was temporarily phoneless.
It was after 11 PM, and since Verizon’s customer service center is only open from 6 AM to 11 PM, I had to wait until morning to call them and solve the problem — which, it turns out, required the intervention of a manager, so it wasn’t just user error on my part.
So no, I wasn’t especially dense or incompetent, and no, Verizon’s system wasn’t inexplicably faulty. It just failed to process a piece of information that I’d presumed it had processed automatically, which resulted in a single night of no phone service for me.
Frustrating? Sure. But in the long run, it was no big deal.
Granted, that didn’t stop me from writing a bitter blog post about the whole ordeal. But it did stop me from publishing it. Instead, I held it for a day, and in the end I deleted it.
Why?
Because it would have been much ado about nothing, and the world (including me) has more important things to worry about.
Can You Pause Your Own Tragedy And Come Look at Mine?
The real-time nature of social media means we feel compelled to share everything that happens to us, good or bad, because everything we live through is “content” that we can “publish.” We want people to know what we’re going through because we want them to think our experiences are important.
But when everything’s a big deal, nothing‘s a big deal, and we risk losing sight of the problems that we really should be paying attention to — all because you believe the world needs to share in your momentary frustration.
Wrong. There’s a big difference between being detained by the border guards and being served the wrong milkshake flavor at Denny’s. One of those, I might be interested in knowing; sharing the other is just murdering innocent pixels.
Instead of reaching for your drama queen tiara, why not try…
- Rereading the directions
- Retracing your steps
- Searching for an answer online
- Finding an alternate solution
- Walking away and coming back to the problem later, when you’re sober
Nearly anything you do will make more sense than shouting into the void.
And, as a bonus, it saves everyone you know from absorbing your frustration (or, worse, feeling compelled to tell you why they’re SO UPSET at Verizon too). Such public commisserations about things we can’t change don’t help anyone, but they do create a digital eyesore that’s hard to look away from.
Not that you shouldn’t try to fix the problem, or hold businesses accountable, or complain through the proper channels when you actually have been wronged by someone else. But that implies that you’re taking proactive steps to create change, rather than limply shaking your tiny little fist at a giant corporate logo.
So before you write your next scathing blog post or send another bile-inflected tweet, do yourself (and everyone else) a favor:
Don’t.
Then, in the morning, if you’re still as pissed as you were the day before, say something. But don’t make too big deal about it.
Because I have more important things to spend my time on — and so do you.
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Tags: common sense, perception, personal, Social Media, Sociology, technology
Personally I feel people should reflect their emotions online as they happen. In my view a lot of businesses have been able to flourish in a world where they know their customer base is fragmented and rarely heard.
It's petty I know, but it's not like pixels are a rare resource either. And I want that information to be accessible when I'm making a purchasing decision.
However, somewhat hypocritically, I don't want it disturbing me. Because at the time I see it as unwanted noise.
I think the real problem is we're cramming a wide spectrum of information down only a few channels. We don't want to categorise what we say because that's too much hard work and we can't filter what we receive because that's technically too difficult.
This is my problem when it comes to keeping current on blog posts. I write them or get the idea in my head and then decide that the interest in my post will be non existent so I don't publish it.
I may need to find more value in my opinion.
“There’s a big difference between being detained by the border guards and being served the wrong milkshake flavor at Denny’s.”
I like that. I'm going to quote you somewhere, somehow. Not that receiving the wrong flavor milkshake at Denny's isn't totally tragic though.
A silent blog usually has no value. You need to talk about what is important to you, and your audience will eventually find you (as long as you do a little SEO work).
Everything in the world has already been experienced to a degree; has been talked about, BUT it hasn't been said by YOU, with your creativity and insight. So start posting to your blog, with practice, you're bound to get better, and every person observes from their own point of view, so there's almost always something of value for you to add. You just need to recognize what that is.
Good luck.
“Sleep on it” is always good advice. When you live in the moment it can be very easy to lose control. God knows I've received plenty of e-mails that worked me into a lather just because they arrived at the wrong moment, and sitting on them for an afternoon almost always improves my attitude.
I agree – I had an experience that if I had written it while happening would have been fairly – shall we say peevish??
After several days – I did write about it – but in context of demonstrating with a comparison of how things could have been done better – not just a complaint – I was able to fit it into the offer me solutions – offer me alternatives frame.
Regards
There are times when it is appropriate to complain – and beneficial to others as well.
As far as I am concerned, businesses that hide behind websites with no telephone number posted and/or no direct-to-human email address are indirectly asking for rants, bile-infected tweets and scathing blog posts.
Why?
By making themselves unavailable and unapproachable, they tell the Customer, “You do not matter.” Effectively, the message is, “Our time is more valuable than yours (even though we have your credit card information).”
When an issue arises (and all businesses are subject to “issues”), there should be a way to resolve those issues. Typical starting points are telephone numbers, email addresses and online forms. With no telephone number and no apparent email address, I recently had a situation where all I had was an online form.
Using the form as a starting point, I received a confirmation and was told in a canned response I would be contacted “immediately” by someone from the company. That never happened.
And my credit card was charged again, and again, and again!
When a Company does not respond to multiple emails and there is no phone number to call, then I have to take more of my time to resolve an issue. At this point, that is inconvenient but necessary.
Writing a blog post or tweeting my experience becomes the most convenient way *for me* to get the company's attention after multiple attempts at resolution have failed.
I can appreciate not everyone wants to read about a bad experience with a business. But, at the very least, those rants, posts and tweets may serve as a warning to others: caveat emptor!!
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by LisaBarone: What to do BEFORE reaching for your drama queen tiara http://tinyurl.com/ylpylbr via @justinkownacki…
This is about how I am with “complaint posts” I Twitter when I'm dealing with customer service on a particularly reaccuring problem, being sure to mention the company name, and sometimes, as in the case with my own Verizon services, do a more fleshed out blog post.
To me the purpose is two fold.
1. While I am only one voice, I find a piece of myself feels that if each of us voices the same concern, it will be reciprocated. If not by the company, but through the beauty of web searches. If I look up Verizon cell phones, for instance, and come across a number of blogs detailing their bad experiences, it will make me think twice if they're more thought out than ranting messes.
2. And I may fail at this, but I hope it can be a source of entertainment in a sort of way. If not at least a good discussion point for readers.
Ah…to be disconnected from the world. What a, for lack of a better word, sucky feeling. Dealing with Verizon=even suckier.
I understand where you are coming from. Sometimes people can use their blog/Twitter/Facebook as their personal therapist, expressing all emotions – good and bad.
While I agree with you about cooling off and thinking twice about a post's worthiness in time's of heated emotion, sometimes it just feels good to have an outlet. I look at it as a sometimes necessary selfishness.
Love this Justin – definitely applies to life situations as well, in my opinion. Arguments, fights, reactions – all happen because we are human. But sometimes there is power in not saying anything in those situations too. Let's the mind settle and perspective can set in.
I'll add that when resolution does arrive or when I receive exemplary service from a business, I'll tweet that as well.
I wanted to add to this:
“Instead of reaching for your drama queen tiara, why not try…
* Rereading the directions
* Retracing your steps
* Searching for an answer online
* Finding an alternate solution
* Walking away and coming back to the problem later, when you’re sober”
Do that, and THEN share the problem, and the solution. Because as someone else said, someone has probably had the same experience. That way, not only do you learn from your experience, but you can share the knowledge or insight you gained with someone else.
Kind of like you just did with this post! :)
Very well said. Thanks!
Very well said. Thanks!