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Yesterday, someone started a Twitter game called #uncertainmovies, in which people alter the titles of films to make them sound more vague or less definitive.  (Examples: “Some Like It Lukewarm” or “Split Decision at Nuremberg“.)  Since I’m both a film buff and a compulsive personality, this is the kind of meme that can simultaneously eat up my whole afternoon while alienating most of my followers, who become alarmed when I get too prolific.

Considering I came up with nearly 30 of these yesterday, followed by another 20 while I was out running errands, I figure it’s better to spare my followers the hassle and just post the ones I still find personally amusing here:

  • The Mediocre Life Coach of Oz
  • The Bourne Ultimatum… Unless You Want to Talk About It
  • The Good, the Bad and the Ones With Great Personalities
  • The Last of the Mohicans Who Bothered to Fill Out a Census
  • Disinterestedly Seeking Susan While This File Uploads
  • Any Given Sunday That We Aren’t Having Dinner at Your Mother’s
  • Not In the Hallway, Lola, Not In the Hallway
  • That Thing You Occasionally Do
  • A River Runs Through It on Some Maps That Have Yet to Be Cached by Google
  • It’s Not a Bad Life, Although “Wonderful” Might Be Pushing It
  • Star Trek 2: The Heretofore Unseen Peevishness of Khan
  • The Lion, the Witch & the Family Heirloom Most Likely to Be Undervalued on Antiques Roadshow
  • The Greatest Story Ever Told, If You’re Into That Sort of Thing
  • She’d Like to Have It But, Honestly, She’ll Take What She Can Get
  • Yeller, Who’s Getting Up in Years But Still Has an Occasional Burst of Speed
  • A Clockwork Fruit Genetically Engineered by Monsanto
  • Gone with the Slight Breeze That’s Unavoidable Because the Fucking Yankees Burned the Whole Goddamn House Down
  • Moderately Attractive Woman (If You Like Horses)
  • Hang ‘Em High, But Not So High That Joe Can’t See ‘Em Because He Forgot His Glaucoma Medication
  • Boyz N That Section of Town We Usually Try to Drive Around
  • Willy Wonka and the Gluten-Free Carob Factory That Meets LEED Standards
  • The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas That Doesn’t Involve Toll Roads
  • Arthritic Tiger, Hidden Gecko

Ahem.

Now, here’s hoping I’m not gripped by another spurt of arbitrary inspiration until my real-life deadlines have passed.

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  • Pee Wee's Rather Long Road Trip
  • I would have offered you dinner, too, especially as it may have meant Indian food (and a double date with our SOs!).

    ciao,
    rpm
  • It ain't Goldilocks and the two bears, amirite?
  • Well, now that you mention it, I suppose you could be certainly and unequivocally on the fence about something...
  • In a few of these your "uncertain" is to "moderate" what Alanis Morissette's "ironic" is "unfortunate coincidence." In life, do you not feel one can have certainty unless they've positioned themselves at an extreme?
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